it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
