After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
