I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
