i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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