our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
