apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
