I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
