been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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