Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize