Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
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We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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