You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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