No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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