Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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