If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
