This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Michael Bay diarrhea
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
