we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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