just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
