so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
