remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
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Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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