just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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