He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
