I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
