I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
