we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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