I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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