I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs