She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
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There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
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I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx