I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
did you just send me my own nude
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
