Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
