Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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