WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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