I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize