Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
