The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
