We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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