ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
