check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
