I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes