He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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