I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??