Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.

  (818): View more from California

  she hot?

  (323): View more from California

  i don't wanna talk about it

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  (323): i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car. (818): she hot? (323): i don't wanna talk about it http://tfl.nu/ojc9
  Replies (6) Good night (815) Bad night (1638)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games

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  (415): I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games http://tfl.nu/i5dy
  Replies (8) Good night (605) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to

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  (612): I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to http://tfl.nu/s30p
  Replies (154) Good night (4052) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  but the lizard people decide everything anyway

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  (780): but the lizard people decide everything anyway http://tfl.nu/21qe
  Replies (27) Good night (3840) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (356): View more from

  her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..

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  (356): her boobs were like sundried tomatoes.. http://tfl.nu/wyr4
  Replies (31) Good night (611) Bad night (8779)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.

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  (518): Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy. http://tfl.nu/8m2c
  Replies (17) Good night (5188) Bad night (1513)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.

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  (407): Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go. http://tfl.nu/d64s
  Replies (10) Good night (4285) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.

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  (856): I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster. http://tfl.nu/w6xc
  Replies (4) Good night (3306) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.

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  (314): So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher. http://tfl.nu/3c6s
  Replies (4) Good night (2390) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?

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  (512): They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true? http://tfl.nu/qtx2
  Replies (13) Good night (2645) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups

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  (724): I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups http://tfl.nu/pn1i
  Replies (5) Good night (2085) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen

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  (705): I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen http://tfl.nu/714w
  Replies (5) Good night (1126) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke

  (647): View more from Ontario

  She kept going

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  (647): She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke (647): She kept going http://tfl.nu/fte0
  Replies (2) Good night (1231) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?

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  (321): Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after? http://tfl.nu/icc6
  Replies (8) Good night (986) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs

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  (320): Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs http://tfl.nu/s3ur
  Replies (4) Good night (494) Bad night (380)

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