Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
