After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
