so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
high people should be assigned attendants
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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