just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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