I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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