The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
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His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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