my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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