Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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