What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she peed on how many people?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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