Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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