my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
