Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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