just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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