Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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