bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
