I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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