if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
