he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize